Pick a date and being willing to stand alone!

I just got home from an amazing weekend in Ottawa were I spent my time with a small group of woman. Really each and every one of us are powerful. I learnt a lot about myself and who I had chosen to be unconsciously so that I wouldn't have to move forward because of this fear within me. A fear that I created that didn't exist in space and time. Really all fear is for me, is a feeling inside, an impulse, information from within.....I thought to myself why can't that impulse be felt as "moving forward" rather then a feeling of fear of something that I haven't created yet. We - I spend a lot of my "time" worrying or fearing something that hasn't even manifested.... ouf what energy that takes to do that all day long.

This weekend also helped me realize that a few weeks ago I almost lost myself. Who I am, and who else I am capable of becoming. Lost in exterior referencing and allowing myself to focus on someone else's beliefs and that's ok because the good news is, is that it only took me a few seconds to realise what I was doing. I was hurt by what someone else's experience of me as being irritating. I was hurt by something I was not responsible for and took complete responsibility for their feelings. I remind myself of my holodeck and how life unfolds exactly as it should. I am no longer willing to be responsible for no body else but myself. In saying that I know I need to take action and pick a date. All this time I've been waiting on my butt for a date to just appear. When I say pick a date it's all those things I say I want and don't do anything about it. I just sit there and flat line hoping it will just appear because I fear taking that first step. Picking a date and claiming, and actually stepping forward with what I/mySelf wants in life is a tough one for me because of all these insecurities I created "inside of me"on what might the outside think. I'm done with exterior referencing it has never done me any good. Plus I AM the godforce that moves through my world.

So.....I will pick a date! Not for anyone but for me. I know and trust I'll make it out the other side and all that is awaiting me. What more fun can I ask for when all I have to be is myself. Couldn't ask for more.

All is well :)
Karina